Monday, March 10, 2014



 “You did what?” Beth stared at me.
I cringed, my nose wrinkling up funny, “I bought his house...”
“You bought his house. Like as in, you own his house!” She wasn't blinking, that wasn't a good sign.
“Well, no, I don't own it yet but he accepted the offer.”
“Of course, he did, you offered thirty thousand over asking. He probably didn't even look over the papers!” She exclaimed, “Oh god, oh god! Amy!”
I dropped my head to my knees where I sat on the couch, grumbling to myself now.
“Amy! I can't believe you did this three weeks ago and didn't say a damn thing!”
“Well,” I looked up, “I was freaking out.”
“You were freaking out?” Her eyes were pulsing now, “Amy, you're pregnant with his baby and just bought his house... all without him knowing!”
I twitched, that was all very true. There's always hindsight, so... in hindsight, maybe it hadn't been the best course of action but at least his house was safe.
“Why did you feel compelled to buy his house!”
“Cause the little skank wanted it!” I blurted out.
She let out a squeak and covered her mouth, amusement now all over her.
I rolled my eyes, “That house is beautiful, okay? Ean doesn’t actually want to sell it.”
“Amy, you haven't even talked to him!” Beth exclaimed, “You don't know what he wants!”
“I know!” I snapped back, “I just know he doesn’t want to sell it.”
She shook her head at me, smiling still, “You're losing it. You need to talk to him. Like now. I mean, yesterday would have been perfect or the day before that or the day before that or... maybe, Amy, you should have told him you loved him back at Christmas!”
I stared at her, wide eyed and feeling like I was getting pecked at by chickens.
“I don't love him.” I said quickly.
She began to laugh at me.
“What?” I stared at her, “I don't...”
“Amy...” She choked, still laughing.
“I don't, Beth! I don't even know him!”
She snorted now, “Oh my god, this is hilarious!”
“I don't love him!” I said again, “I don't. I don't love him!”
“Amy!” She leaned across my leather couch and grabbed my knees, “You said you saved his house from a skank.
“She was.” I retorted.
“Amy!” Beth laughed again.
“Okay, really!” I snapped, “You can stop laughing. This isn't funny!”
“Yes, it's hilarious!” She started to hug her stomach, “Oh god... I'm going to die. You bought his house... you're pregnant with his... ha!”
“Beth!” I basically yelled.
She stopped and looked to me, “Okay, it's okay. You need to talk to him though.”
“I can't.” I told her.
Beth still tried to wipe the smile off her face, “Why?”
“He's working.”
“Where?” She made a face.
I rolled my eyes, “Up north or something. Unreachable.”
“Well, they got ahold of him, he accepted the offer.” She pointed out.
I shrugged, “Not information I can get ahold of.”
“Right, cause the whole town...” She tried not to laugh, “Know's you're looking for him.”
“Alright, come on!” I exclaimed, “I mean, maybe he just accepted it through email.”
“Do you know when he's back?”
I nodded once.
She arched an eyebrow, “Oh!”
“Yeah.” I said quickly.
“He's back in five days. I'm going there, to meet him. I made it part of the contingency.”
Beth burst out laughing again.
“Why is it, you find my misery so funny!” I blurted.
“I don't. It's just, in all the years I've known you... I've never seen you crack like this.” She looked me over with amazement.
“What's that mean?” I stuffed.
“You've cracked, Amy Black, because of a man.” She slowly smiled at me.
I then saw what she did, I saw that it was true or it was coming true... I stood quickly, “No!”
Beth panicked and stood, “It's a good thing!”
“No!” I shook my head frantically.
“Well, at least he's hot!”
“No!” I repeated over and over.
Beth watched me pace, “Amy.”
“I didn't...” I turned to her, my eyes welling up.
“Hun, it's not like he's awful. He's really a nice man...”
I started to cry, “Why did I do this, Beth! Now, I'm almost ten weeks pregnant...”
She stood and came towards me, “Amy, shh...”
“I should back out. I should say I can't get financing.”
“Amy!” Beth grabbed my shoulders, “At least, go and meet him. If you still feel the same way, worry about it then.”
I swallowed and then agreed, even though I wasn't sure if that was right or not. Beth however seemed to have more sense then I did, really – I was going off the deep end a bit.
I nodded.
She smiled but wiped it off her face quickly, “It will be okay. You'll feel better once you get past this. Remember, you don't need to...”
I searched her face as her words fell off, “What?”
“You don't have to be with him but I'm guessing he'll want to be included to some degree. You need to be prepared for that.”
I planted a hand to my temple and rubbed.
“It's okay.” She assured me, “You'll like having him involved.”
“No...” I squeaked.
I felt my tears again, “I think I really did like him.”
She stayed quiet a moment and then, “Of course, Amy. Of course, you did... Anyone with a brain and eyes could...” Her sentence collapsed as my eyes burned into her. She took my hand and sat me back to the couch, “You need to relax. Try not to think too much about all this. One day at time.”
I nodded and took in a quick breath, “I wish I could have some wine right now.”
“Amy, you always drink away your issues. In a non-alcoholic way but things could be worse...”
“How is that even possible to say to me right now?” I snapped.
She shrugged and sat back beside me, “You could be pregnant with Richard's baby.”
I gagged and choked on that information.
I waved her off and relaxed back into the couch, “It can't always be worse.”
“It can always be worse, hun.” Beth said softly to me, “How about we watch some stupid movie and try not to talk about it, okay?”
I nodded, feeling like my head was about to explode from the headache I had anyway, “Sure...”
We then picked out a movie from the satellite options and then found one bag of popcorn in a back shelf. Elizabeth proceeded to giving me a lecture on proper eating and I agreed to go grocery shopping the next day with her. Much to my dismay, what was I suppose to do with cupboards full of food?
We sat and watched the stupid chick flick, I hadn't really agreed to and only ended up wanting to cry out pathetic-ness by the end. She said goodnight to me with a hug and waved me off to be by myself for yet another lonely night.
I had never really complained much about being alone, in fact I really liked it. Then I figured out, I wasn't actually alone. I stopped at the counters in my bathroom and looked down to my stomach. It really was becoming too easy to freak myself out.
I looked back up to the mirror.
Five days.

Elizabeth had become my needed confidant and support system. Since I did lack one all together at that moment, she really did do a fair job. Especially when it came to the blood tests.
I was sort of a large chicken and I was going to have to continue to suffer as well, it seemed like when you were pregnant you were forced to endure blood tests on top of being a continued weight gainer.
By the end of the week, I'd regretfully bought a pair of maternity pants that were comfy but not fashionably forward what so ever. To start with they had a waist band that was the size of china and even though I still fit my current pants, my abdomen just ached from wearing them all day.
I was learning fast, I literally was screwed.
As the day ended and I sent my last email off to a company I was looking at dismantling for an extreme amount of money. I made my leave of the mostly quiet office, only to run into Doug at the elevator.
“Have a good week?” He stuffed.
He'd been a bit stuffy ever since he'd seen Beth and I holding hands in the cafe weeks before but I wasn't stupid enough to bring all that up again.
“Uh, not bad. I sent you the emails for the new company I was telling you about.”
“Didn't check yet, but I will.” He hit the button for the elevator again, like he wanted away from me.
I nodded and stayed quiet.
The elevator opened for us and we got inside, then stayed silent all the way down as well.
I said bye to him and made my way out of the building to the sidewalks. My phone rang and I answered it quickly.
“Hey.” I said, knowing it was Beth.
“Hello.” She chirped, “Did you just leave the office?”
“Yeah.” I admitted.
“Aren’t you driving out tomorrow?”
I swallowed, “Yeah, well, had some last minute stuff come in tonight so I had to stay later then I wanted...”
“Okay, so, did you think about me coming?”
“Yeah...” I was still on the fence, “I should probably go alone. I mean, I don't want to bombard him. He's probably going to freak out already...”
“Okay, well, only if you think you'll be okay?”
“Yeah. I guess. I mean as good as I can get.” I was almost home now, walking and talking had taken most of the short walk up.
“Just be careful driving.”
“Yeah, not like I'm not learning the drive by now...” I wanted to roll my eyes at that truth.
“Alright, call me when you get there or something.” Elizabeth said goodbye and then I hung up my phone. Once I got to my apartment, I was going to grab my small packed bag and make the four hour drive for my impending meet up with Ean. He didn't see it coming and I envied him for it.
I stepped inside my apartment building, now wishing I could swap lives with someone. Anyone. Anything even...

Avoid, avoid, avoid...
It's all I told myself as I pulled into the motel parking behind the general store. I realized I was going to be surrounded by people that knew Ean well, the whole night. Staying locked up was imperative to my own survival, however I was hungry and doubted I'd make it the whole night inside the hotel room.
There was a pub attached to the building and once I entered the tiny lobby, the smell of frying food hit me. My mouth watered as I checked in, the fifteen year old girl behind the counter less than thrilled with her job.
“Name?” She droned as she sucked on a lollipop.
“Amy Black.” I said to her as I looked over her thick braided hair and plaid shirt. I couldn't believe I was here and the only reason I wasn't driving straight to his house... because I had nothing to hold myself accountable to. No appointment to force me to do it. I was all pent up for the next morning in that regard. If I saw him that moment I would have failed miserably. Likely without the ability to speak as well.
She wrote down my name and passed me a paper sign.
There was no computer.
“I need cash or credit card for the room.” She said to me.
“Sure. Credit card.” I signed the paper and took out my card.
She whipped it up, looking it over, “Gold...” She imprinted my card and gave it back to me, “Room twelve, just go left outside the door, you'll come to it.”
I nodded and grabbed my purse from the counter, “How do you get to the restaurant?” I wasn't able to last without food any longer.
“Go right out the door.” She arched an eyebrow.
Our conversation was over and I left the building, going right and adjusting my scarf as I did.
There was no reason for anyone to recognize me and there was little reason for me to be talked to as well. I entered the pub and found a booth in the back to occupy.
Eventually a waitress got to me, once she was done chatting up a group of men that looked like locals. She gave me a menu and I took in all the greasy options.
Salad was the only safe thing so I ordered it, half hour later. The men liked her and it made me realize how small these people's worlds were.
They all knew each other and it's all they did, come to the damn pub on a friday night. I couldn't believe I had even come back, let alone bought a log cabin! A note on the door of his sold home would have sufficed, especially if I hadn't been the one buying his house.
I ate my salad in silence, keeping my eyes down and away from everyone else in the room. Once I was done, I dug for cash, needing to get out of there.
I passed a vending machine and bought a ginger ale on my way to my room, where I was no doubt, going to be up the entire night calling myself insane and attempting to down talk my panic.
As I sat to the old, creaking mattress in the room, I cracked the ginger ale. My white Chanel carry on beside me as we sat in silence together – the only sound was a semi truck running across the dark parking lot outside.
I took a sip of the pop and then dropped it to the nightstand, sinking into the hard bed. It's not like Ean would have let me sleep in his bed anyway... I washed those thoughts away quickly.
I stared into the dim light. Unsure if this was considered a low or high of my life. I supposed his face the next day would let me know. I still had not decided on an opening line... What was I really suppose to say... Hi, it's Amy. I bought your house. Oh, and I'm pregnant with your baby... uh...
I buried my face in a pillow and let out a scream. I was starting to think wine had been invented for times like these... or just my life in general but alas I was prohibited from it's abilities to fix me.
I rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling now, knowing the next morning was going to be my first actual sentencing in life. That was the only thing I was sure on.



1 comment:

  1. So first time I am on here because you posted on here intead of wattpad... Im in love with this story! And that was a fast update!! Im excited hopefully she and Ean meet tmm


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